A Sick Child is No Excuse. Go Team!
Leaving a threatening note: What could go wrong?
Looking at the note above, it’s possibly one of the worst examples of ‘solving’ a workplace issue. You can’t fix problems by writing threats on a piece of paper. They might as well have pinned it to the door with a knife like in a Wild West movie, or as a landlord did to a tenet.
We can assume the purpose of the note was to ‘increase productivity’. Less time away from work means more time spent working, right? But often this type of thinking makes things worse: it destroys morale and productivity.
What’s a better way to address a workplace issue? And why does the way you deliver news matter?
Care Instead of Scolding
I don’t even work there, yet I feel demotivated and annoyed reading that note. I can imagine parents reading it would be livid.
Why does this type of message have such a negative effect?
One reason is that it puts the company ahead of the individual. No one wants to feel like a second priority. And a company that doesn’t care about it’s employees creates employees that don’t care about the company. Perpetuating a cycle of under-performance and punishment.
There are plenty of different approaches management can use. Caring about employee well-being is one of them. It’s not a surprise that when people feel cared for, they become more loyal and harder working. Even if someone misses a day at work, they might be more willing to catch up on the lost time.
Before taking any actions, you should put yourself in the other person’s position: What if you had an emergency? What if your child was sick? How would you feel if your boss told you that wasn’t a valid reason to miss work and they gave you a write-up? If that annoys you, it will annoy others.
Then think of a possible helpful or caring approach you could use. What would you appreciate in that moment? Perhaps:
Given permission to take a few hours off
Reached out to check if there’s anything you need
Upon return being asked how your child is doing
Offered a get-well-soon card with a piece of chocolate
….
Even small gestures can have a big impact.
Make the Delivery Personal
Many of our actions are guided by fear and social approval. It’s the reason being hateful on the internet is so easy, and why leaving notes is so tempting. You can do it anonymously without putting yourself in danger.
Seems like a win-win, but there’s a catch. Using notes, messages or emails to address sensitive topics creates larger problems in the long run:
Feelings of disrespect. The less personal you make the delivery, the less respectful it feels. Respect is easy to lose and hard to gain back.
Reluctance to listen. People are less likely to follow instructions from a piece of paper, or do so while dragging their feet.
Creates division. Feelings of us-vs-them, employees-vs-management leads to larger rifts, strained communication and less trust.
A much better way to handle issues is by meeting face to face. Although it feels terrifying, it’s the only way to have an honest discussion. Trying to navigate sensitive topics through writing creates room for error: nuance is missed, words are misinterpreted, and it’s easier to dismiss ideas when the other person isn’t there.
Feedback sessions unfortunately happen at predetermined times (if at all) and can be very one-directional (manager criticizing employees). So if you’re a manager, call an in-person meeting with the honest intention of trying to figure out what’s not working and how it can be improved:
Express why an issue (sick day use) is becoming concerning
Get the other person’s input on why it’s happening
Find a fair solution that works for both of you
Involving someone in the decision making process, especially when finding a solution, is a much more effective way to get them to stick to what was agreed upon.
Using the Motivational Tool: Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosey
Some of you might be thinking that caring and having open discussions will lead to people taking advantage of you. Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile. So the conventional approach would be to tighten the screws even harder.
But in my view, the tighter you make things, the worse people behave.
Maybe loosening the screws might have the effect you’re looking for.
Then you could proudly say: Go Team!
Thanks very much for reading!
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Matthieu
Ouch! I used to work at a place like this... not with the notes, but I did use up all my vacation time taking care of a sick child and still got written up for poor attendance.